June 18, 2020

Please adjust.......

Why is women expected to adjust in every phase of her life?

At a moment of introspection , i realised that in every woman’s life, there is a transition phase where ends the carefree and innocent childhood and begins the series of adjustments that lasts her a life time. This transition is crudely labelled as adulthood although it’s heavily gendered.During this transition , a woman is torn out of her childhood and forcefully pushed into adulthood.The first period and maturing body raises alarm bells as the society begins piling norms on heron matter if the girl is even mature enough to put on her buttons correctly.It is from this time she is made to realise that growing up as a girl means to adjust your clothes, the tone of her voice,and the way you walk and sit , to put care above career , children over yourself and so on.

Seeking higher education in such a controlling environment also becomes a struggle for women. Firstly they are encouraged to adjust their expectations and opt for colleges and courses available close to home. Even if they are able to move to other cities,they must be able to safeguard their parent’s trust and reputation.PARENTS ARE WAY TOO CONSIOUS ABOUT THEIR DAUGHTERS THAT SIMPLE MISTAKE BECOMES AS LARGE AS BETRAY OF TRUST.The vigilance and restrictions are also shared by the landlords of the houses where women stay away from home.The time restrictions , no male friends allowed, no parties are all because they assume it is their responsibility of taking “ care “ of the woman as she cannot do all by herself. Besides , they will be answerable when anything wrong happens....The saga of adjustments follows them to the workspace also.A woman has to always be careful about her male colleagues  and how they behave with her.These adjustments make her feel inferior at times and less capable.

While a woman is still adjusting to the patriarchal norms and giving up basic freedom not to upset her parents, she is simultaneously being trained for “ marriage”.Why does marriage become a crux of existence in a woman’s life ?Even though she is educated , she bound to a time limit by which she should be married .In a subtle way women are told career isn’t to be their priority in life over family.

Many women have to give up their job once they embrace motherhood because first,the responsibility of child is mostly on them and many firms do not have right maternity leave policies.It is easy to tell women to adjust for the society as it still sides with men as superior gender shielding them
from any change in mindset.Most of the women themselves have stopped internalising gendered social norms and are questioning .Hopefuly they don’t have to adjust in every aspect of their lives for the sake of security and appeasement in the future.

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